Episode 23-Interview with Scott Waters

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Hosted by
Aaron Potratz

Who is Scott Waters? What are some common problems that couples have, and what solutions has Scott found for them? Today, we’ll be talking about all these things and exploring the fundamentals of maintaining and growing a healthy marriage.

In this episode, Nathan and Aaron interview Scott Waters, owner and clinical director of Veritas Community Counseling and co-host of the Resilient Relationships Podcast, based in Eugene, Oregon.

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Scott Waters, LPC

In This Podcast

Summary

  • Who is Scott Waters?
  • What are some common problems that couples have?
  • How does Scott go about counseling?
  • Tips for Growth

Who is Scott Waters?

  1. Scott Waters started out as a sexual addiction therapist and then moved to marriage counseling
  2. He is a group practice owner in Eugene, Oregon which mostly serves churchgoers
  3. Scott has been a therapist for 11 years, ever since he was invigorated to be a force for good in other’s lives

What are some common problems couples have?

  1. Disconnect: a few years into the marriage couples might have changed, making it hard to understand each other.
  2. Poor communication: lacking the ability to express experiences
  3. Lack of understanding as to where the relationship should go realistically and practically
    • “Relationships should be easy and natural.” This is a common misconception! Scott says relationships take work, and there is no such thing as a “soulmate.”
  4. Couples don’t take responsibility for themselves and complain about or blame their partner constantly.

How does Scott do counseling?

  1. Scott likes to ease into it by building rapport while staying direct and being communicative.
  2. Scott uses the acronym V.A.L.U.E.S.:
    1. Vulnerable. You need to be open to understanding the other person’s experience, values, and opinions.
    2. Accountable. You need to have integrity and be consistent in your own actions.
    3. Learning. You need to be curious about yourself and others to better understand the situation. People are always changing, so we need to update our views often.
    4. Understanding. You need to show up with grace and honesty in a genuine attempt to understand the other.
    5. Empathy. You need to show kindness and compassion for the experiences of others and yourself.
    6. Shared meaning. Go into the situation with the mindset that “a win for us is a win for me.”
  3. Scott uses VALUES to figure out where couples could improve.

Tips for Growth

  1. If you want to be understood, start by understanding.
  2. Give your spouse your “presence”; be there for them.
  3. The only way you can grow is in unison. Strive for synergy.
  4. The best way to advance the relationship is to move forward personally by taking responsibility and looking to improve yourself.

Useful Links

Thanks for Listening!

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Meet Nathan and Aaron

Nathan Hawkins and Aaron Potratz are both licensed therapists and clinical supervisors in the state of Oregon. They each own their own private group counseling practices and co-own a third group practice together. Nathan and Aaron have been in the field since 2004 and 2007, respectively, and have over 100,000 hours of therapy experience each. On their show, they discuss facing fears and common challenges from a therapist’s point of view, imparting wisdom and humanity to their viewers. Along the way, they hope to not only share their insights but bring some light-hearted entertainment to make the journey easier.

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Episode 23