What are the unique telltale signs of the Victim on the Fear Triangle? Is this a role you or someone you love takes on? Is there any way to change the pattern?

In this episode, Nathan and Aaron answer all these questions and discuss the thoughts and fears a “Victim” needs to recognize and overcome to get out of the Fear Triangle. Most importantly, they offer so much hope and practical advice from their own experiences!

In This Podcast


  • What is a “Victim”?
  • Fear Statements
  • More about the Triangle of Fear

What Is a Victim?

  • A victim’s response to negative things is to say that they deserve it and fall into self-hatred and negative emotions
  • They give up the belief that they’re any good and sink into hopeless depression
  • Victims have gut reactions of anger and self-criticism to negative events
  • The emotional response of a Victim is a result of years of a root belief being of one’s worthlessness, unloveableness, etc. ingrained into their head subconsciously

Fear Statements

  • A fear statement is a plain statement of your fears
  • Fear statements are deep-rooted and powerful
  • It can be hard to find a fear statement – they are typically well protected and are rarely surface-level
  • Once you realize your fear and can consciously understand it with a fear statement, you can actively fight against it

Around the Triangle

  • People often switch positions on the fear triangle in different environments
  • Most people identify with aspects of every role, but they find themself staying on one side more than the others
  • There are a few general rules of the fear triangle:
    • You can’t persecute a Persecutor
    • All roles are victims, they just respond differently
    • Everyone in the triangle wants to feel safe
    • You can’t be more of a victim than a victim
  • The only way out of the fear triangle

Useful Links

Thanks for Listening!

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aaron potratz and nathan hawkins therapists standing smiling

Meet Nathan & Aaron

Nathan Hawkins and Aaron Potratz are both licensed therapists and clinical supervisors in the state of Oregon. They each own their own private group counseling practices and co-own a third group practice together. Nathan and Aaron have been in the field since 2004 and 2007, respectively, and have over 100,000 hours of therapy experience each. On their show, they discuss facing fears and common challenges from a therapist’s point of view, imparting wisdom and humanity to their viewers. Along the way, they hope to not only share their insights but bring some light-hearted entertainment to make the journey easier.

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